The new reality TV show from the ex-royals, "Harry & Meghan," has proven one thing if nothing else: Meghan Markle is truly a God-awful actress. We witnessed elements of this while she played a second-fiddle character in "Suits." Never the star despite what she bangs on about.
The biggest revelation so far is the ever-changing smile of Meghan Markle, who, in the latter part of the show, premieres her new teeth, like Wallace. Not the Wallis as in Simpson, but the cartoon series with Gromit. She flashes those new teeth at every opportunity. You would too. After all, they cost the ex-royal Prince Harry a lot. But back to the plot.
What did we learn?
If I were Netflix, I would think that this is like an old tired soap opera with the best lines and dramatics already served up to that other trash fest that was Oprah Winfrey.
Like Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard, Meghan Markle claimed again she had no idea what a royal walkabout was, even though she has — and it has been proven — watched endless documentaries on the late Princess Diana. We're supposed to believe this utter tosh of a lie and the fact that Harry says Meghan knew how to curtsey while preparing to meet Queen Elizabeth II for the first time.
I mean, truly, this is without doubt a script that both can’t seem to keep a straight line on.
Up next was the Greta Garbo of the piece — the reclusive mother Doria Ragland, once again like at the royal wedding, filmed all alone. What did she reveal? Nothing other than she knew Harry was the one for her daughter.
Of course, meal and ticket were never mentioned, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that whatever Meghan Markle likes to drizzle as her "truth," she was actively looking for an English husband, and boy did she hit the jackpot with Harry.
Likewise, Harry seems to deludedly believe that people may have been stunned that he, a ginger, could have landed such a beautiful woman who had brains, clearly not understanding that he held the cache. After all, what was Meghan Markle, but a cable TV actress? Somehow, she has convinced him that she held the power above all else.
The biggest problem with the first three episodes so far is simply this: It’s boring. And I mean that with genuine concern. I mean if this is the best they could dredge up, what possible storylines were rejected?
ROYAL PAINS HARRY AND MEGHAN HAVE WORN OUT THEIR WELCOME, SHOULD LOSE THEIR TITLES
Breaking news of shots of Archie’s birthday and the daughter Lilibet, who we never see? And now we know why. They are there to prop up an ailing TV doc, which is very transparent. Meghan Markle made sure to exploit the late Prince Philip, missing out on the fact that as he lay on his deathbed, she had Harry push ahead with the first global attack on the royals with Oprah. Apart from the usual racist comments and slights, was it really all they had?
I mean, let’s be honest. Netflix has shed thousands of subscribers, and in return has gotten acres of free publicity from the hapless duo. But, as a show, it’s a bomb because nothing in their story stands up. Even how they first met has radically changed like so many inconsistencies in the dire podcast she hosted, which took years to make. Nothing is truly real.
The worst bit is that there is even more to come. But unless she outs that the late queen secretly hated royal life, then I can see Meghan Markle and Harry really being left in the lurch as far as family gatherings are concerned.
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Still, it may not be too long before the hapless duo resort to reality TV. More so Prince Harry, as Meghan Markle won't stoop to that level. But happy for Harry to trash his once-loving family that despite what he says, he was, in fact, very close to and loved back.
All that changed when he met a washed-up actress named Meghan Markle who was keen on global power, fame and walking the red carpet, all documented at length by the father she dumped when he too became disposable.
Netflix needs to answer three questions in the next installment to make it a hit. What really happened with her father? Can she address the moon bump and the bullying claims? How long does she see this marriage lasting?
If those bombshells are left out, then expect even more folks leaving the streaming giant. But guess what? Like with everything it won’t be Meghan Markle's fault.